Need health advice? Ask Yourself... No-one knows your body better than you

This has been a looooong lesson learned for me. That I know best. Those are big words right? It implies that we trust ourselves. That whatever decision we make will be perfect. That regardless of what everyone else says will work, if we feel so strongly that it's not for us, being brave enough to roll with that feeling, contrary to every body else.

The biggest part of why I have struggled with trusting myself for so long was because of a disconnection to myself. I could say it all begun with my parents divorce when I sat there very upset but telling myself "don't cry, don't cry, don't cry" for whatever reason I seemed to think was good enough at the young age of seven, but for all I know, it could have been even earlier. I was sad and felt to cry but made myself not. Incongruence at it's best. And from then on I taught myself how to master the art of hiding my feelings and disconnecting from my emotions.

This unfortunately also laid the path for what was to become a very strong dis-connect from myself. Eating disorders, depression, binge drinking... these all appeared and stuck around for a good few years because I was incredibly 'not-attached' to myself. I know this may sound ridunculously stupid, by being 'not-attached' to myself I simply mean that my thoughts and my body were never on the same page.

I felt hungry, but didn't eat. Or I was full but kept eating. I felt unhappy but tried to mask it. These still, to this day, cause me minor hiccups every now and then as I often look at the clock to see how long it has been since I last ate, as hunger and fullness signals get muddled up from years of ignoring them all.

But over the years I have gotten better at re-connecting with myself and allowing myself to feel everything I never used too; hunger, fullness, pain, saddness, happiness and more. And in the process of doing so I have begun to hear and feel the little nudges and whispers I get in direct relation to my health; my own journey, what is great for me and what is not, and everything that encompasses.

+ Like feeling that turkish bread will bloat me - but eating it anyway, and of course, getting bloated.

+ Being told my daily coffee enema would aggravate my colon more than help my liver (which needed support) - I stopped them and have felt nauseous most days since.

+ Wanting to join a female bootcamp to meet friends on arriving to Cairns last year, but knowing it was not the best as I was trying to heal adrenal fatigue - well I got worse, almost pulled out (didn't coz of stubborness and not enough self love though) and ended up putting on weight.

+ Knowing somewhere within me that nothing would heal my acne except learning to love and accept myself - not that this made it any easier; it's still a work in progress (having said that, plenty of things have made great improvements in my skin, but even through science-based studies, and knowing the physical and physiological reasons for acne and how to treat it, I simply know they are not my answers)

At the same time, it can be a bloody tough slog realising that we are our best teachers. Hopefully it's only initially and will get easier (I'm still new to this too remember). Sometimes we want to heal and correct something right now and so go about trying, ingesting, and changing everything we can. Even if we know deep down there's a lesson here and it won't go away instantly, we continue trying everything we can.

Think of the overweight woman who has tried every diet, every personal trainer at her gym, every supplement known to shred, every tea to help boost her metabolism, every tapping technique, hypnosis technique, portion sizes, even meal times. All the time having no luck, and in fact knowing that her issue has nothing to do with the food but everything to do with the whispers she is getting about the need to love herself just as she is (and then the weight will magically fall off - no joke).

Additionally, and I know this one too well, when we really want help with something but fail to find anyone who can really help us. As if that isn't a sure enough sign that you've gotta work it out for yourself! We either don't believe what we are feeling intuitively or are too scared to follow it. But I've heard and read time and time again about people who after years of seeking help, end up trusting their gut and healing themselves of cancer, autoimmune diseases, skin conditions, you name it, simply because they could never find someone who could help them with their condition.

Does your gut tell you that the best exercise right now is to do nothing, yet you're too attached to your routine that you don't listen, only to get an injury next week or go further downhill with fatigue?

It's not miraculously easy to just begin trusting your gut and knowing that you are your best healer - or we would all be doing it right? But we can at least practice day by day. Ask yourself "what would I like for lunch?" and see if you get anything back. Next time you're at the markets hold an apple in one hand and a banana in the other. Which one feels lighter (and no, I don't mean by weight)?

These little questions and experiences get us in touch with our body and it's innate wisdom so that when we are presented with bigger things, we will still feel, see, hear the sensations so we can trust our gut.

If you (think you) don't know why you're always bloated, sit with it, as I'm sure you'll get some sense of an idea (you might just not want to accept that you have to ditch your beloved dairy).
If you still have no clue why you've had eczema for 10 years, and no doctor has helped you, feel into this one. Something is sure to come up, if it hasn't already but you've chosen to ignore it.

As an almost-qualifed-Nutritionist, of course I can help you with many things as I have learnt so much through my studies and truckloads more through my own experiences. But only YOU will already know more about YOUR body than I ever will. So trust that girl. Sure an apple is super healthy... but if you feel sick eating it, and only you will feel this sickness, then stop eating it, no matter how many people tell you it's good for you.

Capishe?

Christie xx

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Love Life Raw & Organic

Ok so it's a(nother) miserably cold rainy day for the first week of "Summer" (pfft; I'll believe it when I see it yeh) in Sydney; but a perfect day to be at home in my trakkie-daks to finally knuckle down with some study (and blogging) !!

Last week I told you guys I had ordered a days worth of organic juices from a place in Sydney, purely for curiosity sake as to what it was all about as I have seen a rise in 'juice-cleanses' and such around town with everyone jumping on the detox-bandwagon. I make my own juices usually and I've never actually done the whole get-a-juice-cleanse-delivered-to-your-door-thing, so was keen to give it a go. Only because I stumbled across one place that does 100% organic juice.



The company I ordered from is O-Zone and they are in Mosman, Sydney. I chose their 'Pure Cleanse' because of the juices (not smoothies) and price (mid-range), but they offer 3 different types of cleanses. Luckily I don't work too far from there so delivery was free and came nice and early (you can specify as to when you'd like delivery) to work on Wednesday morning; I was giddy like a little kid in a lolly shop with excitement!
I got my very own little green cooler bag filled with 4x 500ml organic juices, 2 organic coconut waters, 2 loose-leaf herbal tea sacks (yep, these are way cooler than tea bags folks), and a noni/aloe/filtered water mix to start my day. I wasn't particularly keen on how that would taste not being either a noni or aloe fan, but I was pleasantly surprised... for half the bottle... then the rest just got necked back!
 

Happiest little bee at 730am on a Wednesday...

BUT... (and no, there is not always a but) as an unfortunate series of events unfolded that day (and unexpected excrutiating period pain that was close to debilitating), I kept on with my juices (herbal teas, essential oils, tissue salts, visualisations, you name it!) but had a few medjool dates mid morning, and a couple more later on. I had bad news call me, then couldn't get out of babysitting that evening, but the adorable family I sit for bought me the latest Wellbeing and Yoga Journal magazines to read whilst dying on their lounge, and their beautiful girl made me a drawing and a card. Awww. I was very touched by their kindness.



So anyway, the juice day would have been totally wonderful if not the few thing that kinda shook me up, but I was very impressed and happy with the service, juices, quantities and price!

Today I actually wanted to write all about Gabriel Cousins lecture in Sydney last Sunday... but I'm going to save that for a few days coz I really want to get a few things off my chest here and would love your feedback.
So fair warning here I can be a bit of a rambler - but it seems that no matter if (to me) my ramblings seem a little disjointed and all over the shop - they seem to resonate well with others (maybe we all have a little scatter-brain inside) so allow me to ramble...

Only this morning someone very close to me said "I think you're really stressed" - and followed it with "I don't think you're breathing" -
two very strong yet gentle pieces of prose. And only in hearing such did I stop to think maybe they were spot on.
Ok I know I've got alot on my plate at the moment juggling extra work shifts, trying desperately to fit my studies in which always seem to get pushed aside, and on top of that my personal studies (college work aside) to research and follow up on things that get my insides bubbling with excitement!! Then there's my training that I love and go mad without, helping mum out with her yoga assessments playing guinea pig, taking orders and making xmas cakes, blogging, and only recently remembering I need to fit in my prac hours for college too somewhere! Ontop of worrying and dashing to and from the hospital for an ill family member, which I've been very lucky to have never experienced before, but it really takes it's toll on you. Like now. It's the one day I can study this week. Every other day is a right off with work, appointments, making cakes, work again, a xmas do I need to make more food for, then work again... and I get a call that maybe I should go to the hospital coz it's not looking so good... But it wasn't looking good 3 days ago when we were there all afternoon and evening... but it was great yesterday. It's up and down. I have faith. But at the same time I don't want to have regrets. I don't want to sound like a whinging bitch with "too much on" to see a sick loved one. But when I get to the point where one mention of a change in plans brings me to tears and in a panic, something's gotta give or I'll break! I've got to say no to something but from my vision it appears I cant say no to any of it just yet - it's all as important. If anything, my study is what always gets the "no", but I love it so not doing it plays on my mind in terms of falling behind, but also because it gives me great joy that I keep missing out on. When it's me and my books, the words, (the laptop,) reading, writing, learning, and getting so excited by new things I discover!! It's when I don't have the time to do that, everything seems hard, and tough, and not so fun, and long, and never ending - "where's my study day?"

"Just make sure you're eating right and getting enough sleep" was advice from the man I love, and it's probably very good advice. What else can you do? I'm the first to suggest to others that maybe they are doing too much; particularly easy to see when one's health is suffering. But it's almost as if until there are true physical signs of deteriorating health, we don't do or change anything! "It wont happen to me" mentality. And for the most part, that's not me at all. I'm very good with my health. I can honestly and easily say it's one of my top values. But it's the stress-side of things that I'm still trying to learn about and understand. At one point I sincerely thought I had never experienced stress in my life. Only later I came to realise I had more than likely lived with it everyday of my life from about age 7, only a much milder version that I was completely unaware of. But long term milder stress is no way better than short term chronic stress.

So that;s my rambling... now I'll get into my study and pump out as much as I can with a smile on my face, and decide about the hospital later. I wouldn't be going right this minute anyways, so why think and worry about it now?

If you have any hints, tips, suggestions, things that work for you, stories of your own, please share as I would love to hear them. Thanks for listening to my ramblings :) I'll write up about Gabriel Cousins later this week if I can find the time to do so. It was an amazing talk overflowing with valuable information I cannot wait to share with you guys!

Struggling with Raw?

Do you guys remember when I wrote about eating solely cooked foods for a month?
Well I recently wrote about it in length for here if you're interested in reading more.

But if you're a regular reader you'd know I've been back to my usual - raw foods baby - ever since and feeling FAB! This was my brekkie this morn - 3 bananas, frozen pear, coconut flesh, filtered water, barley grass, spirulina and yacon syrup... then coconut, bee pollen, gojis, cacao nibs and acai buckwheat muesli sprinkled ontop for crunchy deliciousness!

Stay tuned for all the manic preparations, running around, food demos, setting tables, florists, staff issues and of course amazing food had at Omid Jaffaris' Botanical Cuisine Tour I organised here in Sydney and down in Melbourne!

Dark Night of The Soul returning Home

Ok so whether or not you guys have been wondering what I've been eating (besides cacao and all things exceptionally sweet thanks to turning 26 a couple of weeks ago) since posting about eating cooked foods for a month back here, I'm going to let you know how I've been doing.

I've had a few people make comment when they've seen me eating massive kale salads "oh you're back on raw food again?" to have me reply with such enthusiasm YES-E-REE!

So why the change back and what's happened in between?

Well, I'm a big believer in hindsight! I've said it before and I'll say it again; hindsight is a very valuable thing. When we go through things that seem to feel odd, strange, or difficult... when we feel like we don't know why we're veering down a particular path or what's ahead, sometimes we just need to go with it, check out the scenery, until we hit the end of the road and only then we can easily stop to think. It's a little tough to process things whilst still driving the car or paddling in the boat (or whatever analogy you wish to use).

Mumbo jumbo? Ok, so from my personal experience just had on cooked foods - I explained it to a friend only today actually. Now that I can look back in hindsight I can clearly see that those few weeks on cooked foods was very much like a Dark Night of the Soul (familiar with Thomas Moore? If not, get familiar here or buy his book here - definatley one for your collection).

A Dark Night of The Soul, whilst stuck in it, is not alway pretty. It's where we feel lost. Things look dark and gloomy. We experience fears, trials and tribulations, tests and challenges along the way - think of Dorothy and her friends through the woods in The Wizard of Oz. You neer quite know why you're there, experiencing whatever it may be, until you come out on the other side. Where you can then look back. Reflect. And take the learnings with you. Or maybe not. Maybe it was just something you had to go through - to go through.

I felt fine on cooked foods but I didn't feel GREAT. I also felt tired and quiet. Withdrawn and wanting my own space at the same time. Looking back it really was almost hibernation - physically during Winter and doing very minimal exercise. Emotionally being withdrawn and retreating within. Mentally by just going to classes but not actually doing alot. And spiritually - as I took a break like a caterpillar in a cocoon; awaiting what was ahead whilst having no freakin idea waht it may be! But simply trusting.

That's what I did. I just trusted. I didn't know if I'd continue eating cooked foods or not. I didn't know if I'd come back from my slumber better or worse. But I trusted that what was meant to happen would.

And of course it did. So where am I now?

Back on raw foods baby! And I can say that with such clarity and certainty because of what I have been through. I feel better than ever! Day by day, more and more. I feel like I've had deeper learnings and new realisations. Some simple some more complex. As the weather warms up and the seasons are nearing change again, so too is my body as I feel the pull to really move! In Winter I eat alot more kale and carrots, but in Summer all I eat is fruit. Every fruit. My body craves it! And I can feel the pull slowly. My body wants the water and the carbs. I must have eaten over 10kgs of oranges this week coz my body wants, wants, wants them! I can't get enough! And I've just ordered 18kgs of watermelon - first organic tray this season comes tomorrow and I'm salivationg just thinking about it!

I'm feeling stronger. I'm feeling wiser. I'm feeling like my feet are firmly planted on the ground without being stuck in the ground. And I'm excited!

I know my body works at its best when it's fuelled by a high fruit, low fat diet. But maybe I needed my Dark Night of cooked foods to get things back in order to fuel up again. I am always grateful for my dark nights, even though I can get caught up in them whilst in them. I have always learnt so much from them.

Just like animals and plants change with the season, I believe us humans need too also. And berating ourselves for wanting warm heavier cooked foods over Winter whilst trying to force light cos lettuce down our throats seems silly. Go with the Seasons; however that works best for you. And if you hit a Dark Night every now and then, know it's there for a reason, even if you have absolutley no idea what that may be...

You're not meant too know...

until later x

Feeling Raw Emotions

Ok finally I've got some time to myself to sit down, tea pot next to me, window wide open, my favourite vanilla caramel candle is lit and filling my sun room with a delicious smell that makes me close my eyes and just breathe...

I've had so many things on the past month (at least) that I've barely had proper time to really sit and put what I've wanted to into this little blog of mine. So to have all afternoon to do so today is my little piece of HEAVEN. And I couldn't be happier (bopping along to some John Butler always helps too).

I wanted to write about something that was mentioned to me last Saturday night. I was out for Earth Hour at a house party full of beautiful, loving, generous people I had never met before. There was only person I knew of that would be there - and it was she that mentioned my blog and how much she loved it. It was a beautiful comment she made that touched me. But what really got my thoughts in motion was when she said what she loved most was how I explained and wrote about the emotional roller coaster that you're thrown onto when you decide to start eating a raw food diet. She hadn't really read about this anywhere else and that's what she wanted and needed most.

But I couldn't remember the last time I wrote about that! Even though that's what I love to write about!

I started this blog when I started my raw journey. And I wrote alot more about it all back then, and recently it's been totally different. Sure it's great to throw in a recipe here and there (and who doesn't love to see a mouth watering piccie of chocolate cake that's totally free of all crap so you can digest it easily and your body just screams "yes please") but there is already plenty of that online (don't fear - I will still be doing loads with food). But as much as I LOVE my kitchen fun, to be honest, I'm so infrequently creative in there these days. All I'm doing is making salads. Do I want to be writing about salads every week (well... I'm sure I could coz I have a strange love affair with my salads but it could make for some boring reading, and end up being boring writing for me also)?

So where did I stray? Possibly trying to "fit in" with all the other blogs out there? Sure everyone wants to "fit in" and I know I've sure as hell had my fair share of those feelings... but with where I am right now, I don't really give a rats ass about that anymore. I'm now more than ever wanting to truly, totally, lovingly, beautifully BE ME! 100%. I'm not afraid of not fitting in because I've come to realise that people do infact love me as the real me. Wow. That's even huge for me to write.

I'm crazy! Emotional. Woman. Overly excited at times. A tendency for verbal diarrhoea (especially first thing in the morning). A bit of a dag (quite alot at times). Always that last one to get a joke... they're all me. Big parts of me, and ones I always tried to hide.

But I've come to a place like I said, where I no longer feel a need to hide parts of me. The past few months have been both the worst and the best of my life, and I've learnt more about myself in this time than ever before. It's been like "Soul Boot Camp" hardcore. Not for the faint hearted. You get out what you put in though. And I've been through one hell of an emotional roller coaster.

What does it all have to do with raw foods though? Um, can I say everything? Or at the very least, a hell of alot more than most people would realise.

I still get asked "why do you only eat raw foods?" which takes me back to my reasons. It's like a reminder for myself. A reminder that I choose to eat only raw foods first and foremost for the emotional and spiritual aspects. Only later did I find out and read about all the physical and nutritional benefits.

I got this in my inbox today actually - its from Jinjee who also writes her own blog you can check out here -

"Some people think it is dogmatic to adhere to a 100% raw vegan diet. For a healthy person who has a great relationship with food and their body, a 70% - 80% raw vegan diet may be just fine. This is also called a high raw diet. However, for a person like me with food addictions, and for compulsive over-eaters, and for people with other eating disorders, the 100% raw vegan diet can be a life-saver. In some cases, having a program such as the 100% raw diet prevents people like us from destroying ourselves with food. Also in the case of people with serious physical conditions, especially digestive and food related conditions, the 100% raw vegan diet can be not just appropriate but essential for life."

For me, I was ready and willing. I wanted to reach higher vibrations spiritually. I wanted to literally throw myself in the deep end. I had read about how a raw diet can bring up buried emotions of fear, sorrow, jealousy, inferiority and more, all to be dealt with. These all require healing and to do so requires awareness, direct attention and some truthful expression. But why on earth would you want to throw yourself in the deep end of all that? It all sounds ridiculously painful, hard, turbulent, upsetting, difficult... (I could go on)... and at times it is. But with great pain comes great reward (if you want to look at it as pain). A raw diet is hard. I know. I live it! But for me the rewards far FAR surpass any pain. It's the path I have chosen. And I love it.

I think that the number one reason someone would have trouble in sticking to a raw diet would hands down be the simple fact that they either cannot or will not deal with their emotional and psychological shit that is literally shoved in their face to look at. With good reason - it's hard to look at it! It's painful. It hurts. I know. Really I know. But I want more. I long for more. I know there's more I'm just yet to find it. And when people ask me why I'm raw that single question reminds me; and it almost instantly makes anything troubling seem not so bad. Because I'm reminded that I've chosen the harder path. It was my choice! I remember why I chose it. I can bail whenever I want too...

But here's the catch -

once you begin this path, it's very very hard to turn back. You know you can't just throw a blanket over your eyes and try to forget things. You've seen more. Felt more. Experienced more. Know what it's like. And regardless of how hard things can get at times, when things are good, they are so far beyond the good you once knew that nothing compares. And that is exactly where I am right now.

It's not the first time I've been here, but having had a roller coaster 2011 so far, to be here again... I feel AMAZING! Unbelievable! Alive! I feel the subtleties again - the shivers down my spine. I see the beauty all around me. The twinkle of sunlight on the cobweb outside my window. I sense the love all around me; emanating both to and from me in what I can only describe as connection, and it is between so many it's pure magic. The rush to DO is disappering and the pull to BE is stronger. I sit. I listen. I ponder. And wish. My body vibrates with increased spiritual energy. I know I'm higher. I've pushed myself to consider a more spiritual element to life, dropping the social mainstream, travelling my own path. And physically - I've always had more energy eating raw.

My transition from a meat eater, to a vego eating dairy and fish, to no dairy, then later no fish, to a vegan, and now a raw vegan has taken me up and down over the past 13years. But I can stand tall and say without a doubt that I have never felt any better in my life than the way I feel right now.

Eating a raw vegan diet.

Your Inner Sunshine

When today is not going well, it is tempting to focus on tomorrow as a blank slate with all the possibilities that newness provides. It is true that tomorrow will be a brand-new day, but we do not have to wait until tomorrow to start fresh. We can start fresh at any moment, clearing our energy field of any negativity that has accumulated, and call this very moment the beginning of our brand-new day.


There is something about the sunrise and the first few hours of the morning that make us feel cleansed and rejuvenated, ready to move forward enthusiastically. As the day wears on, we lose some of this dynamic energy and the inspiration it provides. This may be why we look forward to tomorrow as providing the possibility of renewal. Many traditions consider the light of the rising sun to be particularly divine in its origins; this is why so many people in the world face east when performing ritual. We too can cultivate that rising sun energy inside ourselves, carrying it with us to light our way through any time of day or night, drawing on its power to awaken and renew our spirits.

One simple way to do this is to carry an image or a photograph of the rising sun with us in our wallet or purse. We can also post this image on our wall at work or at home, or have it as our screensaver on our computer. When we feel the need to start fresh, we can take a moment to gaze at the image, allowing its light to enter into our hearts. As we do this, we might say out loud or quietly to ourselves, I am ready to let go of the past and start anew. We might visualize anything we want to release leaving us as we exhale, and as we inhale, we can take in the fresh energy of the eastern sun, allowing it to light the way to a brand-new day.


This drawing has been in my wallet for months. And it is My Inner Sunshine.

This was sent to me by the kind people at Daily Om. I get emails from them reguarly and LOVE the inspiration they give me.
I began writing something else for this post at 6am this morning whilst drinking my BIG GREEN JUICE, but deleted it all after reading what you've just read above. It sums up everything I've been feeling the past couple of weeks. I wrote here not long ago about where I feel I am and some difficulties I've been having, and I suppose I'm still a little stuck in a few places. The words sent to my inbox were exactly what I needed. And I hope they mean something to all of you as well.

Stress or Simplicity?

The remainder of my week...

WOW! It's been huge! Alot of realisations. Alot of thinking. Alot more awareness. And alot of stress...

which led me to ditching the jucing thing after 4 days.

I found that I was in the kitchen juicing for hours each day and having no time for anything else which was really impacting the rest of my being - I was getting more stressed trying to fit it all in.

Fresh coconut water was a blessing though - quick hack job and voila! Raw white wine. And better :) And all that delicious white flesh... I'll be showing you a COCONUT ICE CREAM recipe soon... :)



I'm still dry skin brushing every day or every second day. Taking my liquid herbs. MSM twice everyday (LOVE that stuff). And have a few other supplements to my diet that I'll touch on some other time.

So tonight, after a big week, that is yet to end as college is back on all weekend... I whipped up a two really SIMPLE SALADS that really hit the spot!



Bok choy, celery, parsley, broccoli...

Carrot, zucchini, seeds, currants, cumin, cinnamon...

Both drizzled with olive oil and a citrus fruit I'm unsue of... perhaps a pomello? A cross between an orange and a lemon. Delicious.

Hungry for juice?

Today my head aches seemed to have disappeared (turns out the celery tip might have done the trick - thanks Glen). However I am in agony right now as my legs are aching something severe! Aside from being on my feet all day, which is nothing unusual for me, I don't know why they would be hurting so much :(

So, my JUICING. Well it turns out I'm not the SuperWoman I wished I was - I had a few nuts last night after my juices. Why? Not really sure. I felt like eating them.
And then I felt them. Severe cramps followed. So I had a warm peppermint tea which helped only slightly. Intersting to see how my body reacted after only 2 days on juices.

Today I've had...

1L apple and celery juice
600ml water
600ml orange and daikon juice (strangely amazingly good)
1L tomato, cucumber, celery juice (delicious!)
1L green juice (whole bunch choy sum, half head celery, big chunk of ginger and a lemon)


I bought 5 young coconuts as well that I look forward to getting into. I've done dry skin brushing, had a facial, taken my herbs, evening primrose oil and MSM.

I've also felt urges for solid food and part of me wants to give in - thinking maybe now isnt the right time to juice. But another part of me thinks that's my belly talking, and in actual fact now is as good as any time, and the only reason I'm feeling urges for solid food is to keep any surfacing emotions I'd rather not look at from getting to me...

What to do?


Keep juicing. Go day by day. And see how I feel. Really feel. I've got enough celery, greens, apples, oranges, carrots, pears, ginger, lemons, and more to fed an army. the only way to get through them all is to juice them!

And to remind myself that I'm striving for the GLOW.
A week on JUICE is a week of digestion rest and relaxation, whilst still getting MORE nutrients than my usual solid food diet to support my body, skin, soul.

When I'm JUICING, I LOVE it. I LOVE the way I feel on juice. Clean, Clear, Light. That's all I need to remember :)

Sweet. Salty. Soft. Crunchy.

Sometimes, I find that emotional upsets can have a big effect on my eating - good, bad or indifferent. Sometimes I want to eat more, sometimes I want to eat nothing at all. Sometimes completely different foods. None of it is BAD, it's just reason to stop and think. Stop and feel. Take a minute out to breathe. Find out what's going on inside.


After a GREAT day at work, I let myself get beaten up by an email of unpleasant news and a quick work-related conversation that didn't end well either.

So this afternoons events impacted on my dinner. I was STARVING prior to dinner having not eaten alot during the day, however I couldn't be bothered eating. I didn't have the strength to think of what to make, what I felt like, and then MAKE IT!

However, I decided to S-L-O-W-L-Y conjur up enough strength to put something together, whether I then ate or not (it could've been tomorrow's lunch) and I was so glad I did.

Scottisk Kale greens thrown in my bowl with thin slices of beetroot and pumpkin, a little avocado I had, some parsley, and a handful of walnuts.
To dress it up... drizzles of olive oil and caramalised balsamic vinegar with a sprinkle of sea salt. Perfect complements and contrasts. Sweet. Salty. Soft. Crunchy. AMAZING! And with a small piece of my raw pizza bread on the side, I was feeling much better afterwards!



Feet up. Home alone. Master Chef on the box. This quick blog and now I'll hit the sack. Nothing like good healthy food (and a small bowl of ice cream), some no-brainer TV and an early night to soothe the soul :)

I am Amazing.

So I'm home today with the intention to do some of my college work and (although the day is not yet over) I'm doing so well at procrastinating today let me tell you! And so, another post ;)

But it's a little different to my usual posts...

In reading Jason Mraz's blog that I LOVE, I got thinking about affirmations and all things SELF LOVE that I have been working on myself of late. And it has prompted me to start a list. A list of things I love about ME.

I love my blue eyes. I love my job. I love my mind. I love my anxiety. I love my perfectionism. I love my mum. I love my dad. I love my sisters. I love my step sisters. I love my step brothers. I love my book collection. I love my hot pink teddy bear. I love my mobile that doesn't always work. I love my man. I love my fingernails that I so rarely let grow. I love my strength.

I'm going to commit to saying at least one affirmation each morning and maybe one day I'll be just as good as little Jessica here:



Start your list. There's liberation once past the judgement and fear.

Simple Emotions...

... if there is such a thing.

It's a week today since my last entry and to be honest blogging hadnt crossed my mind once last week! GASP! My week was a little up and down with a bit playing on my mind and I suppose it brought me back to the knowing that when life throws me a curved ball, sticking to simple wholefoods I know that NOURISH me and dont fog my mind too much are key to getting through the thick of it.

In the past I would have no doubt turned to the mass produced chocolate bars and anything from the bakery to NUMB my emotions, but now on RAW there's nothing processed I will eat to take me away like I used too. So there's more room to sit with my feelings and to really FEEL them. Scary? Shit yeh! Rewarding? You bet! So I keep reminding myself of it. It's the path I have chosen and no matter how tough it is, I know I'll be fine.


I made sure I had enough FRESH FRUIT and VEGIES around to keep me going. Stripping back to simplicity sometimes works best when I'm feeling a little emotional, other times making gourmet raw feels better. This week it's been all about SIMPLICITY.

And I'm feeling much better :)

Emotionally Raw

I've been RAW now since January 1st, 2010. Not all that long really. I was dabbling into RAW the latter part of last year and was feeling AMAZING that I decided to go FULL RAW at the turn of the New Year.

I first began looking into raw food mid-2009. Having followed a vegetarian diet the past 11 years, and slowly transitioning to having no dairy, no fish, and then vegan, RAW seemed to be the next step for me - for many reasons.


So I initially thought of trying a 100% RAW VEGAN DIET for 2 months (I had been eating MOSTLY RAW for 5 months prior to this) - January and February. And after that I'd re-assess, see how I felt, and decide whether or not it was working for me, etc...

It was then in April someone was asking me about my diet - when and why I went raw, and it was only then I realised my "2 months" had long passed, I was still eating RAW, and I hadn't had any thoughts about whether or not it was for me - it was as it was - and obviously working well for me.

However - right now - to be frank and completley honest, as I write this post, I feel like shit. Truthfully. I'm on my fantastic, amazing, RAW vegan diet that usually makes me feel ALIVE, ENERGETIC, clear-headed and FULL OF BEANS... and today I feel like absolute shit.
I feel flat. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning - or yesterday, or the day before. I'm silent and not talking to anyone. I'm slow in my movements, have fluctuating appetites, and feel a little spaced out.

Um... ok, that's nice right? What does RAW FOOD have to do with all this?

RAW FOOD = DETOX.

Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually.

"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going" - not on RAW. When the going gets tough...you sit in it! There's nothing to fall back on. No processed refined fast food junk to numb out on. No endless cups of coffee or bottles of cola to get your kicks from. When shit comes up, as it always does, you sit with it. You work through it. It's painful. It's hard. It's challenging. It's where I'm at right now. Today. But it's also where I've willingly put myself. And I need to remember this.

This is why I went RAW. Pure hell to some people I'm sure. But for me, it was the next step in my journey. I knew this. As I moved further along my spiritual path, I began to receive increasing guidance that eating a raw food diet would help me progress at a more rapid rate. And so the story goes...

David Wolfe says "raw plant foods, laughter, joy, bliss and unconditional love all exist on the same frequency". He says tuning into this frequency raises the overall vibration of your energy field, causing anything that is vibrating at a lower frequency, such as fear, pain, doubt, cancer, ugliness, depression and toxins to eventually percolate out to be ejected from the body.
THIS IS DETOXIFICATION.

By eating RAW I'm allowing my body the energy it needs to process all my emotions and spiritual pursuits, instead of using that energy to process and digest cooked foods, refined sugars, and starches.

Paul Nison in Raw Knowledge says in order to reach the soul, you can't be weighed down with food.
"Once we clean our minds and bodies, we are able to live with the lightness that less eating and a clean body will produce and we will be able ready to get in touch with a much higher place."



That's where I'm heading. That's why I eat RAW.

With CONFUSION comes CLARITY I tell alot of friends and clients.
Right now I'm taking my own advice.