Aug 24, 2011

Dark Night of The Soul returning Home

Ok so whether or not you guys have been wondering what I've been eating (besides cacao and all things exceptionally sweet thanks to turning 26 a couple of weeks ago) since posting about eating cooked foods for a month back here, I'm going to let you know how I've been doing.

I've had a few people make comment when they've seen me eating massive kale salads "oh you're back on raw food again?" to have me reply with such enthusiasm YES-E-REE!

So why the change back and what's happened in between?

Well, I'm a big believer in hindsight! I've said it before and I'll say it again; hindsight is a very valuable thing. When we go through things that seem to feel odd, strange, or difficult... when we feel like we don't know why we're veering down a particular path or what's ahead, sometimes we just need to go with it, check out the scenery, until we hit the end of the road and only then we can easily stop to think. It's a little tough to process things whilst still driving the car or paddling in the boat (or whatever analogy you wish to use).

Mumbo jumbo? Ok, so from my personal experience just had on cooked foods - I explained it to a friend only today actually. Now that I can look back in hindsight I can clearly see that those few weeks on cooked foods was very much like a Dark Night of the Soul (familiar with Thomas Moore? If not, get familiar here or buy his book here - definatley one for your collection).

A Dark Night of The Soul, whilst stuck in it, is not alway pretty. It's where we feel lost. Things look dark and gloomy. We experience fears, trials and tribulations, tests and challenges along the way - think of Dorothy and her friends through the woods in The Wizard of Oz. You neer quite know why you're there, experiencing whatever it may be, until you come out on the other side. Where you can then look back. Reflect. And take the learnings with you. Or maybe not. Maybe it was just something you had to go through - to go through.

I felt fine on cooked foods but I didn't feel GREAT. I also felt tired and quiet. Withdrawn and wanting my own space at the same time. Looking back it really was almost hibernation - physically during Winter and doing very minimal exercise. Emotionally being withdrawn and retreating within. Mentally by just going to classes but not actually doing alot. And spiritually - as I took a break like a caterpillar in a cocoon; awaiting what was ahead whilst having no freakin idea waht it may be! But simply trusting.

That's what I did. I just trusted. I didn't know if I'd continue eating cooked foods or not. I didn't know if I'd come back from my slumber better or worse. But I trusted that what was meant to happen would.

And of course it did. So where am I now?

Back on raw foods baby! And I can say that with such clarity and certainty because of what I have been through. I feel better than ever! Day by day, more and more. I feel like I've had deeper learnings and new realisations. Some simple some more complex. As the weather warms up and the seasons are nearing change again, so too is my body as I feel the pull to really move! In Winter I eat alot more kale and carrots, but in Summer all I eat is fruit. Every fruit. My body craves it! And I can feel the pull slowly. My body wants the water and the carbs. I must have eaten over 10kgs of oranges this week coz my body wants, wants, wants them! I can't get enough! And I've just ordered 18kgs of watermelon - first organic tray this season comes tomorrow and I'm salivationg just thinking about it!

I'm feeling stronger. I'm feeling wiser. I'm feeling like my feet are firmly planted on the ground without being stuck in the ground. And I'm excited!

I know my body works at its best when it's fuelled by a high fruit, low fat diet. But maybe I needed my Dark Night of cooked foods to get things back in order to fuel up again. I am always grateful for my dark nights, even though I can get caught up in them whilst in them. I have always learnt so much from them.

Just like animals and plants change with the season, I believe us humans need too also. And berating ourselves for wanting warm heavier cooked foods over Winter whilst trying to force light cos lettuce down our throats seems silly. Go with the Seasons; however that works best for you. And if you hit a Dark Night every now and then, know it's there for a reason, even if you have absolutley no idea what that may be...

You're not meant too know...

until later x

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