Ever noticed that when you're comparing yourself to another human being - be it their career, their gorgeous long hair, their golden tan, the fact that they are on holiday more than you, can stick to a sugar free diet more than you, has a better body than you, more energy than you, or a relationship longer than yours... You never end up feeling better about yourself?
It's a simple fact of life and one we all understand - comparing ourself to another is not a joyful act, yet we still do it.
But what about comparison of ourself, to our own self?
I know that sometimes these can be beneficial; perhaps you're an elite athlete. Then yes, comparison as a way to improve and win your next race is a smart thing. But I reckon too often nowadays we're not looking upon ourselves to improve... We're still playing the tapes from the past and it's getting us nowhere.
It goes something like this... "I had way clearer skin back then" or "I wish I was a skinny as I was in high school". These are also interesting to witness and I think it's time we pulled the rug out from beneath us on it too. There's plenty of blog posts around on comparisions to others... but this is just as detrimental to our health, and only keeps us stuck in whatever it is we'd rather not be stuck in.
I've caught myself doing it lately in fact - and hence the post about it all. My acne has been flaring up a bit and on occasion, has really got me down. I make it no easier for myself to stare at a younger photo of my sister and I, longing for the skin I had back then (which in actual fact, I thought was bad then). COMPARISON to the past. I've also been playing the one where had I stayed in Sydney, I would have finished the same course I'm doing now 18 months ago (but I of course forget all the bits that drove me insane, exacerbated my fatigue, and had me going broke, along with all the yumminess in Cairns that is a more nurturing environment, more calm, s l o w e r paced and full of natural beauty around every turn).
Then there was the strength and flexibility I used to have before adrenal fatigue (again forgetting that it contributed to my fatigue)... the dedication, motivation and commitment to attaining my goals (ditto the last one)... or the sharp memory and great brain power (hmmm still tryna get this one back). All COMPARISONS to me a few years ago. And where is it all getting me? Only deeper into self loathing as the more crap I fill my head with (coz yes, it's all crap my dear), the less space there is to stop and see the beautiful things I have in my life now, that I didn't back then.
When we are in conclusion we literally cement that way into being; let me give you an example -
"Why do I always have bad skin?"
"My nose is soooo itchy again!"
But when we are in question, anything is possible -
"What would it take for my skin to clear up?"
"What can I do to make my nose feel awesome?"
"Can I have some more energy now please?"
And as I said before, there's more room for possibility. More room for us to see, feel, and acknowledge what an incredible being we are and what we have accomplished!
I'm far more educated now that I was back then.
I am much more patient and understanding of people in situations I have been in.
I don't judge anyone with skin problems having had my own.
I'm actually enjoying getting my strength and flexibility back.
How can you get to this place?
With Gratitude. Daily. Be it written in a journal, out loud to your partner or friend, or in your head whilst showering. And if you can't think of anything (as I have had some days), I will allow you to use one of mine; I am Grateful for waking up today.
What are you grateful for?
What are you grateful for about yourself?
Take a sec to share in the comments below, 3 things you are grateful about yourself for. I can't wait to read them!