I'm still here in Sydney and was going to post an all-pretty-post on what I've been doing, but instead I'm going to get real down and dirty here. I'm feeling like shit --
Well a litte pretty-ing is still nice to begin with -- First up, I've been having a ball chilling with my besties, cruising around Bondi, and enjoying a few cheeky coffees and cuddles with my man now that he has arrived here too (it's been over a week since I got cuddles ok) ... but I needed to buy some clothes for an outing this evening as I've got absolutley nothing to wear (I mean that too - it's not just a girly winge when my wardrobe is busting at the seams; it's legit as my backpack contains half a dozen pairs of running shorts, two tshirts, maybe 3 singlets, and 2 airy-fairy beachy dresses from about 6yrs ago that could potentially be left in Thailand if need be; ie. nothing spesh but super comfy... a pair of thong, sneakers and my vibrams).
So, as the weather has totally changed and it's now freezing, wet and miserable, my Lorna Jane bike shorts, singlet and sneakers aren't quite appropriate even if it is my choice of clothing and all I've got in my backpack right now...
Who am I kidding? Even if it was sunny and warm I dont think I could get away with wearing gym gear out tonight.
So this morning I set off into Bondi Junction to find some clothes. Ok. Not so bad you think. Well, I'll let you in on a not-at-all-secret secret of mine; contrary to almost every other female on the planet it seems, I hate clothes shopping. I always have. I never know what to buy, what suits me, what looks good with what, where to shop and where to buy. I do know what I like though - gym gear. It's comfortable and suits me. Asides from my work tshirt (which I wear with black gym pants), I don't wear much else. But every now and then when I've gotta present nicely and wear something that's not gym gear - I hate it. And Hate is a strong word I know but I'm using it. I feel the pressure to buy, to dress a certain way, to appear a certain way... And sure I can get dressed up with a spin of my style but I've no clue what that is. No doubt my biggest problem.
Shortcut to now so you don't hav to live through my painful teary Westfield experience like I did, and I'm feeling like a miserable bitch trying to perk myself up... I'm sitting here comfy as all hell in my bestie's trakkie daks and my Lorna Jane jacket. With nothing to wear out tonight. What to do? Only time will tell. And as to why I allow all this to happen, what I need to learn from it and all that other jazz... I'm too stuck in it right now to want to care to be frank. I could try and pretty all this up by telling you why this always comes up for me, what it's teaching me, yada yada yada... but I'm yet to nail it, and so continue to avoid clothes shopping, always getting the shits when I've got an invite somewhere that I need to get dressed up for. Yay.
Now let's move along...
More HIGHs from my Syd trip... Last night B and I had a huge Thai dinner with 30 of our friends at Thai Face in Crows Nest. So SO awesome to have seen you all. A great big restaurant with delicious food that's fresh, colourful, and damn tasty. We sat at one long table chatting, laughing, eating and catching up, all having a jolly ol' time. When the restaurant was closing up, the few of us left wandered down to Bravo for sorbets and gelatos, still laughing and talking non-stop in the centre of my old stomping ground. Love love all my friends and family here xx
Tomorrow we fly outta here over to Singapore for 24hrs of fun, food (and fashion? - unlikely)... before we hit Bangkok to begin our 6 week journey through Thailand and Burma. Eeek I am super duper excited!! This is my college break - and the only break I'll get until I finish up in December, so it was a no-brainer deciding to literally and physically get away from it all.
All I want to do (as I'm trying to physically plan less) is:
+ Get massages (after reading Leonie's fabulous post on why daily massages are needed for burnout, I think I might just experiment with these!)
+ Drink and eat coconuts
+ Reading and more reading
+ Blogging to you lovelies
+ Finishing my online biz course
...and really resting.
If you've been reading me here for a while, you'll know that I've had a few ups and downs with fatigue and adrenal exhaustion, ontop of moving interstate, so now that I've got an extended break from college I intend on using it wisely and actually taking the break so I don't burn myself out further.
And after my coaching sesh yesterday morning, above all else, I am going to commit to being PRESENT. My mind is always off somewhere else and rarely in the here and now, and I can tell you it can cause all sorts of mischief when it's elsewhere.
So perhaps a little challenging, but likely more just a decision to do it... I'm commited to this, so I will keep you all in touch with how I go.
As for now, I gotta jet to finalise travel insurance, hotels, flight meal options (molto importante), and an outfit for this evening... Yippee.
When I next write to you I'll be in Singapore!
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PSS. If you're a clothes-shopping-star, feel free to be my personal shopper next time I'm in your neck-of-the-woods. I'll love you forever ;)