One step at a time

So not off to the best of starts after my 2 months away... and as much as I procrastinate telling myself that I can't post a blog without photos, as my mobile phone/camera is in at the shop getting repairs done (complete with all my photos of our Sunday banana-choccie-almond-crunch-chia-layered-parfait-brekkie, my tranquil trip away to Bowral last week with my step-mum's home grown vegies in the back yard, the massive green salads Brock and I had post yoga, and more)!!

NOTE: since typing this draft yesterday I've had an AHA moment and 2 of the pics I posted straight from my phone last week onto FB, have now been posted below. Blonde moment yes, but we've got some piccies!! :) And my photo-shopping program has been updated so I have a bucket load of new designs and effects to play with! Happy days :)

Mid-morning snack on the front balcony over looking the lake

Besides the lack of a good mobile phone at present (although my old cute little flip top Sony I bought in Italy years ago brings back such happy memories), things are pretty much the same as usual.

Actually no - you know what, they're not the same! They're BETTER than usual! Yep! BETTER! I'm forever telling people I'm the "same as usual - never ending study, work, etc, you know" when this past week has been so much more than just that! The past few weeks infact.

- I took 3 weeks off work to really knuckle down some college modules and I have done just that, and feel great for it! Sure it's a challenge getting my head around Biology and the deepening ins and outs of nutritional studies but when I understand it I LOVE IT and it's FASCINATING!

- I spent 5 days down in Bowral at my dad's place to really chill out, focus, drink tea (I say that like I don't otherwise drink copious amounts), eat lightly, and rest. I got a bunch of assessments done there, and since being back I've got a bunch more done.

- I'm trying new bits n pieces for my skin issues and am finding small improvements (yippee!). I'll let you know how things are going a bit later.

- Brock and I have been spending the best time ever together - even if that was one whole day driving from one mobile phone shop to the next, back home for contracts and receipts and back again. He is due to head off to Thailand on Sunday so intentionally or not, we've been glued to one another hip. I quite like that ;)

- I've also been doing a few gentle -but powerful- online workouts as well as rebounding and find I'm feeling a lot better from them both. I've always been a fitness and gym junkie but after a shoulder injury, followed by a sciatic injury (both for reason's still unknown to me), I was off the gym and have been for probably 3months now. Soooo unlike me! But you know what? I am so surprised at how my body has held up! My mind was trying to convince me that without my 4-6 gym classes a week I would surely balloon out, get fat and feel yuck! Well, my body looks very close to exactly the same as it was when I was up early every second day to work out. I know there's no way I could lift the weights I was 3 months ago now which is a bit of a bummer, but Brock mentioned to me yesterday that some of the world's top athlete's take 6 months off every year to really rest and recover, which was a huge boost to my self esteem, and a real joy to hear after beating myself up for not working out. My step-dad has also said each time I've popped over to say hello, that I'm looking better than ever! I laugh and say I'm doing absolutely nothing! It doesn't really surprise me though. My body has been feeling too tired and sore and exhausted to do much of anything that all I muster up is a 20minute walk most days, and even that brings on minor pain. But it's good to get out of the house.

So with that, I've been on my rebounder more and that has given me loads of energy, lymphatic boosts, and with minimal impact, and I'm feeling so-far-so-good coz of it! Really good infact. Yay :)

But I best get going again coz my aim is to finish one big Nutrition assessment today, and a Biology one too if I can squeeze it in! I'm off to a comedy gig tonight and very much looking forward to surprising Brock with that! I only just got given free tickets - ten minutes ago!

Quick and easy (minimal pantry ingredients) dessert or brekkie parfait

But before I jet I'll spill the beans on a super easy-use-whatever-you've-got-dessert-or-brekkie-recipe you can try this weekend.I made this at dad's down in Bowral the night before I left to use up my last few bananas, and coconut. I've tried to guess the quantities I used but adjust to taste coz I never measure anything myself.

Recipe (quite literally):

Step 1

Young coconut flesh from one coconut

1 banana

1 tsp vanilla

Coconut water as needed... blend all until smooth then pour into a small bowl and set aside

Step 2

2 bananas

1-2 tsp cacao... blend together then pour into a small bowl

Step 3

Handful of chopped dates

Handful of nuts

Pinch of salt...blend until crumbly and set aside

Pull out 3 little glass cups, bowls or jars and start layering your 3 mixtures. Eat straight away, or set in fridge or freezer. If you're like we were and too full from dinner, save these for brekkie!

I'd usually use a few other ingredients in something like this but at my dad's the pantry is not stocked for a raw vegan and so I use what I can. Something like this can be made with any fruit, and nuts, and any dried fruit. Be creative. Experiment with your favourite flavours and let me know how you go!

Have an awesome weekend!!

Christie :)

Distorted Eating

More often than not I struggle to find words to begin a new blog post; unless of course they're something like "I made the best cake ever!", or "New raw desserts in Sydney" etc... With such statements as those it's not difficult to begin and the ball just rolls on it's own accord. But when wanting to write about something a little more meaningful I always find it tough to start. Ironic kinda, as here is an entire paragraph already!

So I wanted to put my fingers to the keyboard mainly so my own sake, so I can get a feel for and sort-of map out where I wanna go from here.

As a nutritionist-in-training with a background in vegetarian, vegan, and raw live foods, I've always continued to up-grade my diet. It's like a hobby to me; I enjoy trying new things, seeing how my body responds, tweaking things along the way, all in an effort to feel, BE, and look my best. But in addition to these healthy habits of mine, comes a darker side and a history tainted with eating disorders.
I've come to notice that it doesn't seem all that unfamiliar in the raw food world either - to have a past with an eating disorder. Perhaps because in a distorted way a lot of us were initially striving for the best food our body could get, but in the process we got a little lost. Or maybe it's because on raw foods the restriction of every other food group is so severe, it's an easy excuse not to have to eat breads, pastas, meats, cheeses, dairy, cakes, biscuits, chocolates, rice... and everything else. There are possibly some people out there that fall into the latter, but my intuition tells me that if that's the case, they are few and far between. I think raw living foods for anyone with an eating disorder history is a blessing, for more reasons than I care to mention here.

So why all this talk about eating disorders? 

I've been very much in the head of my eating disorder lately. That might sound strange and a little hard to grasp for some, so let me explain a bit first.
Some people recover from an eating disorder. Some don't. And some might have to learn how to manage it if it hasn't completely left them, but they are wanting a better life. I'm in the third category. I learnt this years ago and have been doing my absolute best to manage my ED, much to my success. Until recently.

Everything in my life seemed to be crumbling around me, according to my over-reactive self that needs to have everything a particular way most of the time. I'm not being too harsh on myself here, neither am I being too easy. It's been a tough few months. And I began to notice that in a bid to regain some control when I felt like nothing was in my control; I turned to my food. And began controlling that. I had a crazy thought that if I could lose a few kilo's then everything would feel better (even tho a small voice in me was trying to yell "BULLSHIT!! IT NEVER WORKED BEFORE!!") But that's how I used to cope. Controlling my food and food intake felt really good as a teenager coz I got the result I wanted. And I felt in control. Calmer. But it's a vicious cycle as with trying to gain control through calorie restricting, one always ends up over-eating due to initial starvation, and then comes guilt, then restriction, then over-eating... the story goes on. So in an attempt to try and gain control, we only spiral further away from it. Go figure.

This week gone I felt like I was stuck in 2 places - one where I wanted to continue what I was trying to achieve by calorie restriction and not tell anyone because they would think I was stupid for wanting to lose weight as I don't need too... and the second place was me wanting to eat proper food and feel amazing again! That second voice was the real me. But as my head went from one to the other and back again within the space of minutes, it was very hard to decide whether or not I actually wanted to call a friend... Ok I do. No, no I don't anymore, I want to stay here and try to eat nothing. But I want to be vibrant and energetic... No I want to be skinny again, don't let anyone know!!

I was beating myself up because I felt like a failure for not following through with my restrictive plans, but feeling like more of a failure for not knowing how to help myself! Then thoughts of "How am I to help other people if I cant help myself??" The thoughts kept on coming. And all negative of course.
When I felt enough courage and strength within to ask my partner for help we began talking. He asked me "why can everybody else fail, but Christie can't?" And then told me to stop thinking about other people coz unless I sort myself out, I'll never be able to help anyone else.
We spoke for a while as I really needed to hear the cold hard facts and truth about what I need to eat because my brain was not functioning, I couldn't think, I felt like a little girl again needing someone to feed me because I couldn't make the decisions of what to eat for myself. I made a vow to myself that the following morning was going to be different.

That was this morning. I didn't get up at 5am for the gym, instead I slept in til 730am then went for a walk/run before coming home to stretch and make a big banana bowl. It was the first decent sized meal I'd had in a week. For the rest of today I ate green grapes and figs, keeping it really simple, and dinner was zucchini pasta with a tomato-capsicum-nectarine-garlic-chilli sauce, and chard greens ripped up and thrown in!
My head feels so much better. I feel like I'm alive again. Functioning. Thinking straight. Smiling :)
Sitting here with tea and a few dates :) And all this has happened since breakfast. That's the beauty of raw foods. They are what they are and they will only do amazing things to our bodies, spirit, and souls.

So from here I want to continue this. I kinda feel like I'm back at square one. Getting fuel to my brain. Supplying nutrients to my cells. Fuel for my training. When I first went raw I was eating truckloads of fruit, and felt AMAZING! I wasn't interested in the gourmet-raw at all, and think I got into it when I first had problems in my relationship. Emotional eating I suppose, I don't really remember. Always a sweets fan though, I did enjoy the raw treats I made and bought. And I still do. But for now I'm just going to stick to fruit, greens and soft veggies. If I want a treat (let's say I manage to sneak a Saturday off work and duck over to Taylor Square Markets for the best raw desserts in Sydney...) I'll have one. But leave it at one. And have them rarely. I know how easily my body can become addicted to cacao as delicious as it is, it's not something I need to be eating everyday. I know it works wonders for some people, and as a transition food it's fantastic, but for my body right now, use sparingly! The same goes with nuts, oils and fats.

It's actually been quite interesting the past 24hrs how my body and my brain have responded to what I have decided to begin doing. I was planning another 3weeks on a diet consisting of 2 pieces of fruit a day, 2-4 cups of greens a day, 2 protein shakes... and with that I was drinking espressos! Now, let me explain... espresso, espresso, espresso... oooh I love how the word just rolls off the tongue! It is such a tough one for me, I'm not gonna lie. I've gone loooooooooong periods without it very easily. But I wasn't a barista for 8yrs just to earn money. And I didn't travel around  and live in Italy to meet a sexy bronzed man. I love coffee! Good coffee - I love the culture around it, I love the smell of it, you name it! But it's got to be amazing coffee or I wont touch it. Anyway... even though my love for it is so strong, I notice that I'll drink it day after day when I'm in a self-sabotage mood. How does that work? I don't know. Coz when I'm happy as larry, loving life, loving me, and feel like a coffee, I'll have one also! It's no biggie for me and I don't think "omg it's not raw" I couldn't care less and figure if I'm loving it that much in that moment, it couldn't possibly be doing me any harm. I'd sit and love every teeny sip of my espresso. Get a high and be one my way. And might have another one 3-4 months later... I'm getting off topic here... where was I... Yes! Planning my 3week restriction, which was to be followed by a week long juice fast, and then another month long cleanse. My god Christie!

But like I said, I've been very interested today in seeing how once I spoke to my partner last night (who knows me better than anyone, knows how to push my buttons, as well as reignite my flames that have been burnt out), and made the decision to stop being stupid, my body fell into place. It knew where it wanted to go. It was my head that got in the way. An all to common theme with me it seems. Head stuff = easy. Heart stuff = hard. And that's ok. I'm not perfect (although I have spent years trying to get there). My body was waiting patiently in the wings until my head came to it's senses, and reunited with my body. And my body knows exactly what it wants. Fruit fruit fruit. Greens. And a few veggies. The odd avocado or coconut. More at different times of the year, but right now not so much.

I feel tonnes better than I did last night when I was balling my eyes out in a state of confusion, worry, fear and disconnect. Today I also moved all my gear out of my mums home where I've been staying, and into my grandmothers house where I will be living on my own from now on. I am very excited and feel it will be a big turning point for me. With a fridge all to myself, 5kg of grapes, 13kg of bananas, and then some... it's the perfect time!

Here's to tomorrow!!
xxx

I think too much

Well I was gonna do a post on the dreaded C word -

I’ve read a lot about it in the past. In text books, magazines and online blogs. I've watched videos and documentaries, heard it thrown around conversation at college and at work, even at home. It's something that not alot of people would associate with a raw food diet ...

So it might come as a surprise to you that I have infact been living with Candida this past week. Yep! The big bad C-word noone likes to talk about. Which is kinda funny as I think 9 out of 10 females have had it at some point – if not regularly, and I don’t think I’ve ever read a blog post from someone saying “I’m suffering right now!” so here you go!

Whilst I was away in Cairns I was eating loads of fruit and not nearly as many greens, I was also drinking delicious espressos which I don’t normally do, and munching on some amazing handmade vegan dark chocolates -  more sugar.
Nikki’s house mate Chris was suffering from cold and flu symptoms whilst I was staying with them, so when I began sniffling, and coughing and getting headaches I figured I had just caught something from him…

Until I returned home and had SEVERE sugar cravings! Not just the “oh I feel like something sweet” (for me – that means a date or two stuffed with coconut oil)… it was more like “god damn it give me all the sweets available to man kind right now!!” I’d get out of bed and just want sugar; fruit and more fruit for brekkie followed by a dozen dates or so and then raw choccie, wanting even more… which is no problem for some people but knowing I don’t usually eat and crave that much sugar rings alarm bells.

And then there came the dreaded itching - you know what I mean girls. I had enough symptoms by now. So one morning whilst doing a few things online I decided to Google “candida diet” to see if anything showed up that I wasn’t already aware of… did you a blocked nose and headaches are also signs of Candida! I had no idea. I put those down to my “cold/flu/thing”…
Now I’m left wondering if I ever had a cold-flu-thingy? Was it just Candida all along?

It’s hard to say as for the past 4 days I’ve had splitting headaches come and go – a symptom of the flu, but also a symptom of candida. Hmmm… and what I'm hoping was the grand finale, last night I was HIT HARD with by far the WORST MIGRANE I have ever suffered in my life! And I've had a few. This was 100x the worst no exaggeration. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And I had never actually been sick from a migrane but last night I was in and out of bed running to the porcelain bowl 6 or 7 times which only made trying to sleep even harder.

It's in my nature to try and work everything out and why things might be showing up the way they do; I like nutting it all out like a human puzzle, but one thing after the other lately has been driving me bonkas trying to understand!

What the f*#k is going on? 


So the twist...I began this blog a couple of days ago and wrote out my list of things to help with yeast infections and candida… but it doesn’t feel right to roll out that list now. I’m feeling more a pull to write about how I'm feeling right now. And looking after myself. Holistically. I’ve come to realize that I’m forever striving for PERFECT HEALTH. Not such a bad goal in reality – but I think my end goal in getting to such a destination is preventing me from enjoying the JOURNEY along the way.
I love my work, my studies, my blogging, my exercise, my kitchen fun… I'm doing, and doing and doing and feel (it’s all perspective right?) that I don’t often have time to just chill out. On the odd morning where I can actually have a sleep in, I still decide to bound out of bed to do yoga or go to the markets early. Clean the house or just get going! I'm a morning person and don't like lying in bed (much to the dislike of my partner on that odd day we do get a lie in together). When I’m given opportunities of rest I don’t take them. I know this. I've never taken the opportunities and usually suffer because of it.

Admitting there's a problem is the first step to recovery though!

Life always throws me something like a migrane when I literally have to rest (and desperatly need mind-rest) – no if's or but's (last year I suffered a pinched sciatic nerve after over-training and was on a walking stick!! Try working with that - I had too). I can’t even lie in down and read today. I've just gotta lie. I’m on the couch right now and have been snacking of red grapes, apples, and nuts which I'm happy to have kept down. My tummy is starving but my head is saying no to everything. Wanting all available energy to do the healings up top no doubt. Good body :) I've been watching day time TV (ie. no brain function needed) all day and now slowly slowly typing this up.

It's clear to me I needed rest but after a week in Cairns (rest capital) I had to wonder if it wasn't something else. Maybe it was? Maybe it wasn't? Who knows? Who will ever? Who cares? Noone but me obviously. It is what it is. Acceptance. Maybe now it will go...

So in all my ramlings and around-about-way at looking at things... I hear the old cliches in my head -

Life's a journey; it's not so much about the destination. I think of rushing to get somewhere to find out it's not what you expected and you've missed everything on the way. I'm a pretty darn healthy chic, I've just gotta believe it more. Be grateful for where I am and my health more and things flow. I know. I've been there. But it;s easy to get caught up in the yuckiness thinking everything could be better... only to later realise that's exactly when things started going down hill...

Food for thought...

as the afternoon sun is beginning to rear its head :)

Health through (not just) Nutrition

I got an email from a long-time family friend this week that got me very excited! Excited just to hear from her but also excited about what she was writing to me about - her health.

The very thing I want to do is EDUCATE, HELP and INSPIRE people towards optimum health, nutrition and a life they LOVE.

So when this friend was outlining some struggles she had experienced and wanted to know any suggestions I had or, anything she could try, I was thrilled!

So it got me thinking - when we are not at our best and feel like we've gone astray for some time how can we successfully come back to our true selves to live harmoniously? To walk, talk and BE HEALTH?

Health. One little word that most probably has a different meaning to everyone on the planet. Is health eating fruit and vegies more? Is it riding your bike instead of driving to work? Is it sleeping 8hrs a night? Is it drinking 2L of water a day? What about healthy relationships? Exercise? Spirituality? Mental health? It goes on and on and on...

I think we all have one "thing" we turn to first when we need to get "back on track". For me, nutrition is "my thing" so I usually (correction - I always) look there first. It's the easiest thing for me to tweak/change/improve to start me in the direction I want to be heading in (again).

I bought a book called "Eating Well For Optimum Health" the other day and so far I LOVE IT. Within the first few pages I read:

"Diet has special significance among lifestyle factors in that people have total control over it, at least potentially. You cannot change your genes, control the quality of air you breathe all the time, or avoid stresses of everyday life, but you can decide what to eat, or what not to eat..."

And that resonates so strongly with me.

For myself, the past month has been kinda tough. I've been experiencing some difficulties in my personal life and this filters out into everything else - including what I'm eating. So once I spot this and decide to make changes and eat the way my body feels best doing so, alot of other things seem to start looking better also.

Now that all might sound easy in the scheme of things but I know too well that it's not always the case. So baby steps are key. And taking one day at a time. Dont worry yourself with tomorrow, or the weekend. Just focus on today. Or even better, the next meal and the next meal only.

Start with breakfast. When I'm lying in bed about to doze off for the night I think about what I'm going to make for brekkie the next morning. I'm usually up very early, off to the gym or work so if I decide ahead of time it saves me thinking time and space as well as preparation time.
As I lie in bed I think about what's in the fridge, what I'll be doing all morning to know how much energy I'll need, and then begin to get a sense of how GREAT I'll feel from the healthy choice I have made.

Quick and easy smoothies or chia-gel ceral are the 2 top favourites that I usually alternate between. If I've done a weights session I'll also thrown in a raw protein drink immediatley after and eat my brekkie when I get to work.


My lunch break is between 1130am and midday so I know not to have much at morning tea or I wont look forward to my lunch - and for that reason I make sure my packed lunch is something DELICIOUS, colourful and tempting. That always stops me from munching too much mid-morn.






BIG kale salads with tomatoes and a coconut oil, dulse flakes and nutritional yeast dressing is my latest must-have. Having something you really enjoy, know you'll hang out for and that get's you excited just thinking about (whilst being high in nutritional value of course) is key here.
A handful of nuts works well for me with lunch as it staves off any hunger pangs that might crop up before I finish work mid-arvo. Otherwise I'll delight in a little raw ginger bar at work or a few bits of choccie for something sweet (I'm a big believer in making sure you eat those yummy pleasurable foods as well as loads of fruit and veg or you'll never achieve "balance" - which like the word "health", is very controversial in my opinion)

The rest of the day I'll be munching on fresh fruit, chopped up vegies, herbal teas, lots of pure water, and dinner is a big salad again most nights.

There are also a few things that I try to make sure are in my diet each day (or close enough too).

- chia seeds (for me the greatest thing they do is move through my bowels. I eat these for brekkie like a pudding with added bits n pieces for extra yumminess. They are also very high in omega 3 fatty acids - lubricating joints, maintaing brain health, warding off depression - protein, irona an calcium)
- cold pressed oils (aldo high in essential fatty acids, GOOD FATS, I'll make sure to mix it up between olive oil full of vitamin E, flax oil with omega 3, or to excite a meal I'll use sesame oil or another nut oil)
- pure water (the Source, for more fascinating info on water go here)
- herbal teas (I'm a big fan of green tea for many reasons but due to my adrenals at the moment I'm tstaying off it, and bumping up other teas such as peppermint, passionflower, skin teas, licorice tea)
- dark green leafy's (do you want a seperate post of dark green leafy's to tell you why you should try eating more?)
- nuts and seeds (high in proteins, calcium and other vitamins and minerals depeding on the nuts and seed)
- colourful fruits (different colours = differnt nutrients)
- cheat foods (these are vegie juices where the nutrients are going straight into your blood stream withint 15minutes as there is no digestion required, or coconut water where your body is hydrated twice as mcuh as water, your blood is getting an instant beneficial kick, and being supplied with electrolytes and potassium at the same time)

There are a few other things I have recently added to my diet to get me back on my path sooner rather than later. I mentioned here that my iron levels were low last blood test so I've been cranking up the greens and spirulina each day which feels great. I'm also taking a zinc supplement again to help with my immunity, and only this past week have brought some homeopathics into the mix along with some high strength adrenal herbs (in addition to maca and licorice which I already consume - both great for your adrenals).

But it was confirmed to me during a kinesiology session I had this week that I need to do more about my health. Another bit in the book I'm reading mentioned:

"Just as diet is only one factor influencing health, so dietary change is only one therapeutic approach, never recommended in isolation. Exercise, relaxation training, dietary supplements, botanical remedies, as well as referrals to both conventional and alternative practitioners for further diagnostic evaluations and treatments are all recommended..."

So I'm seeing a kinesiologist who is fantastic, and a facialist who specialises in lymphatic drainage for my acne issues. These two are the main people I see at the moment, but in the past I've regulalry seen colon hydrotherapists, naturopaths, counsellors and coaches, as well as personal trainers.

So in addition to my diet, to regain my optimum health that I know I have experienced before and can again, I need to rest and do some relaxation work. A self-confessed stress head that covers it all so well at times, it scared me but didn't shock me to find out that I'm one small step away from getting chronic fatigue syndrome. Where your adrenals have have enough wear and tear over time that they decide they're taking time off. 6 months, 12 months, 2 yrs. Who knows. Something I definatly do not want to experience ever. And I'm not going too. So that's where my adrenal herbs come in (and in high doses mind you), as does rest, relaxation, saying NO to myself more than to anyone else, and trying (my very best) to not do so much.

So far I'm feeling alot better. Day by day. Eating well. Supplementing where I feel I need too. Exercising where I can whilst being very aware to not do too much. Communicating with my partner (a BIG part of my health). Journalling. Resting. Reading and educating myself more. Looking after me. Baby steps.

I'd love to know what you guys do to keep your health in check?