We all know it - we're our own worst enemy at times. And we all know that if our best friends treated us the same way we often treat and speak to ourselves, they wouldn't be around all that long. So why do we keep doing it?
I've noticed this week that I'm doing exactly that. My self-talk has come leaps and bounds this year, as has backing off on my need to have everything perfect and me be in control. However I've really been made aware that when my energy levels are super low and my fatigue and exhaustion rear their (I don't want to say ugly) heads, I'm much much harder on myself.
Instead of acknowledging that perhaps I'm in a lull, and the peak of the wave is around the corner (ces't la vie non?), my thoughts dive straight to the bottom of the pit, making me believe that this is it - I'm doomed, I feel shit again, I always do, why am I always so tired, I just want to feel good and healthy again... spiralling outta control until, this week it was, something clicked to have me see what and where my thoughts were going.
Notice the language there - feel shit again, I always do, I'm always tired... our thoughts lead us to believe that these are absolutes. Nothing will ever change coz it's always like this. And in these moments we totally forget that yesterday was an awesome day.
I'm still learning how to be ok with feeling like death, instead of berating my body for it (but just for the record, if you feel like death, I hope you're seeking support, help, nutritional advice, etc as I am).
As a health coach and less-than-a-month-till-qualified-Nutritionist (yeeeow!!), I too have rough patches when life gets in the way of my body's need to have a lie in, an afternoon nap, or a day completely off all technology. I'm only human after all. So I guess it's good to let other people know this. I know I look up to other practitioners, coaches, mentors, whatever they may be, and put them on a pedastal thinking they've totally got it all together... until they too are brave enough to write or speak about their crappy days, and I realise, we're all the same.
I can now say that healing my adrenal fatigue has been super tough, not to mention doing so whilst also trying to become aware and accept/alter one's perfectionistic behaviours and control issues. It makes for an interesting mix. And if my partner hadn't been with me for as long as he has, I'm sure he'd think I was totally nuts.
I feel like I'm rambling a bit now, but I'm ok with that as funnily enough that's often when I write my best.
I just wanted to bring awareness to how we speak and treat ourselves. It's ok to have a crappy day. You can choose to make it a good day, or a crappy day, but know that either way it's not a bad thing. You (and I) are not hopeless because you physically didn't have the energy for yoga today. You might have simply needed a rest day without it. And don't dare convince yourself that you'll never lose weight/find a partner/be happy/insert other crazy absolute... because you ate a piece of cake today.
Instead of digging at our own sides, coz where does that get us anyway, how's about we all try to be a little bit kinder on ourselves. It's not the end of the world if our skin breaks out, or our energy flails, it just means we need to put some attention there.