Mar 4, 2013

How was Your Weekend? I hit Rock Bottom

Happy Monday all! How was your weekend? Did you get to making those delicious crackers?
Well my weekend was far from amazing, but I have just gotten home from a session with a Shamanic Healer, medical intuitive, naturopath, iridologist, reflexologist, author and more, all in one. And here's why --
I’m sitting here drinking bone broth with so much flowing through my veins right now that I feel the need to put it all down on paper my blog, and the post on my beverage of choice at the minute that I promised you would come today will have to wait, and I’ll put it up on Wednesday - Why you gotta get bone broth in ya!

So what the hell couldn’t wait to be told??

I haven’t made mention of how my health is going recently and I wanted to share with you. Like I said this wasn’t the intended post, this is flowing through my fingers, so just roll with me.

I hit rock bottom. Yep it was sure a surprise to me too when I hit the pavement and skidded up onto the median strip in the centre of the road, falling off my scooter, to get up quickly in total shock, bleeding, bruised, really fighting tears, ushering the cars to continue like I was totally okay and this was no big deal, and only worried about my chin (female - face - priorities - I hit my chin in my fall). All I can say now is thank god for the English tourist who walked over to me and grabbed the bike to wheel it off to the side of the road, hold my hand, and calm me down. I likely would have just gotten on and attempted to ride off, only to fall again due to shock and fear. He stayed with me, gave me water, and spoke to me about his holiday, his daughter (who had a similar accident in England years ago), how smoking his whole life makes scuba diving really hard, and that he thought I was one brave tough nut. I then had to really fight back tears, put my helmet back on, and ride that thing home – well to the chemist first for everything I all-of-a-sudden needed, and then to the shops for all my dinner supplies, and yep all whilst hobbling around with blood dripping down my leg.

When I got home, I lost it. I couldn’t control my crying. In fact it began before i got home. Can you imagine seeing a chic on a bike passing u while she's balling her eyes out? A rather strange sight it would have been I'm sure. I was an emotional, physical, bruised and bloodied mess. But crying was exactly what I had to do. I had been fighting tears for 2 whole days, and this day everything seemed at it’s worst. 
I initially rode into town that day to ponder around the beautifully inspiring bookstore hoping I would smile and feel happy, as my brain was not going anywhere near the study I had intended on doing. But I also wanted to see if I could find some kind of a healer who could answer some of my questions –

Why do I feel so depressed at the moment?
Do I have negative energies around me I am attached too?
I am inviting negative energies to me?
And the biggie – when will all my current health and emotional issues begin to get better; Do I have loads more work and learning to do; or is it looking up soon?

I felt I needed to know as it feels like this has dragged on way too long and exhaustion is fucking exhausting!

After my fall I could see my answer. That’s it. Shit couldn’t get any worse than it was on Saturday. I felt miserable, didn’t want to get out of bed, only really began doing stuff after midday, and wondered if things would ever get any better. I always tried to think positive and sometimes it worked. But on days when as soon as I woke up, I could barely move from exhaustion, yawning all day, no food or drinks made any difference, I couldn’t think straight and just wanted to sleep – those were the days it was all too much.
After a bucket-load of a crying sesh, and calling B to tell him what happened (he’s in Brissie which of course makes an emotional mess / blooded and bruised fragile girl even more emotional and fragile), I managed to cry my way through cleaning up my battle wounds (Dettol still really stings as a big kid), having a cold shower, calming down, and making some food. The rest of the day was not exciting.

Yesterday however I woke up and I actually felt semi-normal. Not that heavy I-cant-get-out-of-bed horrible feeling. I was a little groggy from poor sleep as everytime I turned in my sleep I either felt pain and woke up or felt wound weeping from one of the bandages. Urgh! But I did actually feel a difference. I felt like something had been lifted. Or shifted. Whatever, I felt better; good even!

I’ve been reading Gabby Bernstein’s Add More ~ing To Your Life that I told you guys about last week, and she talks about when her coaching clients hit their rock bottom she says CONGRATULATIONS!! much to their confusion and surprise, as you can imagine. But things can only get better once you’ve hit the bottom! So praise the lord, thank you, bless you, I can’t believe I would ever be this happy after coming off a scooter around a bend! And over a median strip! Christ! But I am! I am so bloody happy right now coz I can already feel changes. I feel a difference. I feel a spring in my step. I feel happy doing things. Seeing people. I feel confident in getting my assessments done. I feel happy knowing I will be in Thailand for 6weeks once I get my butt into booking flights. I am happy in my kitchen cooking dinner listening to my Eat Pray Love soundtrack I’ve been obsessed with ever since I got it (years ago). I AM HAPPY TODAY AND IT FEELS SO GOD DAMN AMAZING!

Perhaps my Bush Essences have played their role too as I only began taking my new bottle last week. Everything plays their role in the grand scheme of things. I love the Australian Bush Essences and I’ve spoken about them once before. I made this bottle for myself to support me in the changes I want to make. It’s made up of 5 essences which is my max number to put in a bottle, and it includes:

Black Eyed Susan – for inner peace and helping me turn inward to be still and slow down
Spinifex – empowerment through emotional understanding of my ‘illness’, physical healing
Crowea – for my continual worry; bringing me peace, balancing and centering me and providing clarity of my feelings
Hibbertia – acceptance and contentment with one’s own knowledge
Five Corners – love and acceptance of myself; celebration of my own beauty; joyousness; this is great for low self esteem, self sabotage behaviours, and drab clothing (that makes me laugh - but it's def a thing of mine)

Everything I feel I need right now. I always have good intentions when I take my Bush Flowers and feel the effects from them all.

So as I was meant to be at work today, but I'm sitting on the lounge with my foot up on the coffee table.
As I mentioned earlier, I had a very last minute session with a healer this morning which was exactly what I needed and long story short; I cried, things shifted, I saw new ways to look at situations, and was in shock when my own body told me something I had no idea about. I went to see this woman wanting clarity and enthusiasm for life, whilst having no expectations, and I left with much more.

Still physically limping around, I do feel lighter on my feet (more crying also helps) and am eager yet patient to now move forward. So that's my this-can't-wait stuff, and it feels good to get it off my fingers and onto this page. Thank you for reading and for listening. Bone broth benefits, beauty-ness and recipe coming up real soon!

 Christie xx

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