Jun 10, 2014


Are you good at asking for what you need?

I had this lesson this morning. I saw a client yesterday, and even though he is a friend of mine, he was adament in paying my full client fee for my service. Awesome. Lesson #1 as when he asked for a session my head immediately went to "ok so I'll give him a discount" - not feeling confident enough in what I do.

Then after our session he handed me cash and I didn't count it til much later, assuming it was correct.
It wasn't. It was $20 short of my consultation fee. Crap. This means I either forget about it (and don't give my time and service the respect it deserves) or I have to man up and some how politely ask him for it. Both icky feeling options. 

It took me a good 12 hours to work up the courage to say "um... I just wanted to mention, when you gave me that money yesterday... you were $20 short" (insert lack of proper breathing). And you know what, he was so apologetic, surprised, and even said he would have been more disappointed had I not said anything (and in hindsight, I would have been too if the tables were turned). I did wonder if he did it on purpose to see if I had the courage to mention it, but no. What he did say though was that it happened that way for a reason, and I was given that lesson to stand up and ask for what I deserve and for what I had asked for.

It made me think about FOOD and how at times I've either eaten crappy processed foods just to be polite, or had foods I know don't agree with my gut, again just to be polite, all because I don't want to rock the boat... and I have trouble standing up for myself. This same male friend reminded me a few days ago, that it's not about being fussy, it's being particular. Knowing exactly what you want. Now tell me how that's a bad thing?

Do you ask for the green juice minus the apple if you're on a fruit cleanse? Or do you get it anyway and feel guilty, get it anyway and then feel sugar cravings coming on so continue to eat other foods high in sugar, or not get anything at all coz it seems too hard and you don't want to make a fuss?

OWN IT GIRL! You know what you want. You KNOW you know what you want. So why aren't you asking for it? If you're the girl that people look at strangely coz you bring your carrot sticks and hummous to work, a big quinoa salad, and a green juice, reheating food in glass in the oven instead of the quick microwave... own it! You might find people get curious and start to change their habits because of your powerful influence.

Your health is far too important to take lightly. I want you to ask for whatever it is that you know you need to feel and look your best. Whether that's a separate gluten free pizza to avoid a belly ache, a soda water instead of another round of shots, or suggesting to eat at an awesome wholefoods cafe that will please everyone, instead of the local sandwich joint, go for it!

Question for the week:
"What would it take for me to be elegant in asking for what I want, when I want it?"

And if you'd be so kind to share in the comments below... What has been your experience of asking for what you want?


  1. I definitely struggle with this. I think it's almost apart of being human and craving a natural sense of belonging and acceptance. A classic example was today at work. My boss wanted me to go have a pub lunch with him, when I really didnt want a pub lunch, I had bought my own from home and I really wanted to save money. I really wanted to say no. But, then the thoughts of, oh, you should go and form a good relationship with your boss came through....and before I knew it I blurted out 'sure!'. Perhaps it is FOMO- fear of missing out. If I don't go, do I miss an opportunity? If I don't go, will he thinK I'm unsociable?

    Perhaps the reality is actually that he doesn't even think twice about it! HA! IMAGINE THAT!?

    1. Haha yep Danielle, he probably doesn't. I think the thing here is COMMUNICATION. And it's often the same thing in most scenario's - whether it's communication (or a lack of) with ourselves or with others.
      Try something like simply saying that you're trying to save a little extra cash, and you're actually really looking forward to what you brought from home - how's about another day? Or I challenge you to simply saying No. And leaving it. And walking away. Tough one. Either way it's brought something up for you to look at and that's awesome! :) Thanks for sharing chic